I was approached by Real Radio the other day to discuss the fashion statements currently being made on the campaign trail by our three would-be leaders – Messrs Brown, Cameron and Clegg. Cameron looked positively presidential when he was in Leeds recently, mucking in and shaking hands with his sleeves rolled up, tie off with top button undone like he’d just returned from a particularly stressful chess match, revealing white shirts with no blazer. We think his team may be studying Obama quite closely.

Quiffy: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?

He’s not the only one who’s been taking fashion cues from American, of course. Remember Tony Blair? Anyone? He was around a few years back? Do you remember that quickly assembled press conference held outside Number 10 when Leo was born, and he bandied out of the house with the sort of windswept grin and ruffled formality of a man who may have just possibly delivered the baby himself. I can picture Cameron doing the same thing, maybe heroically jumping in front of traffic to save an old lady on a bicycle in the process. Accusations of airbrushing won’t help Cameron with regards to his latest campaign posters, although kudos is due on his mini-quiff – which is hardly the sort of post-modern hair do that you’ll find Brown striking up in the run up to May 6^th. Although slowly creeping further up his forehead (that’s called a recession, surely?), the look is both contemporary and adaptable for a busy, 24 hour media roll call. Blair had a similar look, funnily enough.

I maybe sounded a bit too harsh when addressing our Great Leader, Gordon Brown, who I said “probably shouldn’t smile so much.” That’s unfair; he can’t help it that smiling seems to go against every muscle on his face, only for it to quickly disappear as soon as it’s arrived. Brown should stick to playing it serious; his wardrobe surely matches: office tailoring at its most monochrome, like a politician from the forties. This works, I guess, as there is a war on. I even saw him on telly wearing a blue tie. Tory colours, of course; does this instigate a break from the traditional standard issue colours? Maybe, yes. After all, when did you last see Cleggover brandishing a liberally bright yellow tie and pochette combination? I quite like Nick Clegg, but he’s starting to resemble a Geography supply teacher.

Of course, more attention is being paid towards the leader’s wives: SaBro, SamCam and The Other One. I read that a leading national fashion glossy is ringing each party head office every morning to find out what the three women are wearing. I quite like The Other One, who isn’t playing ball in the slightest and still going to work as per usual. And just so you know: her name is Miriam Gonzalez Durantez, a Spanish catholic, who bizarrely resembles Cherie Blair. SamCam and SaBro are undergoing much bigger media onslaughts in rather inoffensive high street clothing, but if they really wanted to court some serious press attention, may we suggest a House of Gaga makeover like Beyonce in the video to ‘Telephone’? Or is that image just too much to comprehend?

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